[What else is there to do when you're trapped in an airport for 12 hours besides drink, blog, and binge-watch Kimmie Schmidt? And yes, I just spent big bucks on the 24 hour wifi access at the airport. FML.]
I don't think I'm a total psycho.
I'm not looking for a "partner in crime." [Obviously I would never break the law]
I don't need to get married right now. [Or who knows if I ever will since weddings still make me intractably nauseous]
I don't even need a boyfriend.
But yes, like Lena Dunham, I would like "someone who wants to hang out all the time, thinks I'm the best person in the world, and wants to have sex with only me."
But I am intense.
The kind of person who runs either hot or cold with almost no ambient tapwater. [Which is why every single shower I take inexorably sets off the smoke alarm, sending me into a public-embarrassment-induced-panic where I try to waft all the steam out the bathroom window]
It's probably one of my biggest assets and worst flaws.
I am getting a little better though, as life drags on.
Still, wouldn't it be cool if someone could be equally obsessed with me as I am with them?
The struggle continues.
Off the grid of online dating, though I won't pretend to romanticize the analog version. It equally sucks in person: rejector or rejected.
Another anesthesiologist asked me out in the OR. [Why I will never stop putting in the extra effort to put on eyeliner every morning despite Nico nudging against my arms every day like clockwork when I start to apply it. Literal cat eyes.]
Had my first age-appropriate patient ask me out. Not in jest. Declined. Professionalism.
Got set up by an OBGYN. Not mine. And not with him. Not exactly the point of my meet-and-greets to try to get patient referrals…
Absolutely got ghosted in person by someone I had been out with two days prior. One second there, the next gone without a goodbye.
Blurred lines between what is and isn’t a date.
Mildly amusing life-imitates-art when an online first date situational joke came true on a first date with the person who made the joke on their web series.
Less amusing when I realized said web series was hitting way too close to home. That I can out-lonely even the loneliest.
At least the last few nights I have been able to sweat it out. Side-step it off. Move it like Bernie. [Not that one.] I had almost forgotten how fun it was to go out with no intention of being on the prowl. To just flail your arms and jump and wiggle for your own enjoyment. To channel my inner hipster and dress like the actual 90s - t shirt and biker shorts - because I literally didn't care what anyone thought. I dunno about dancing myself clean, but to follow in the footsteps of a friend maybe I will attempt to go cold turkey all together. Forget about guys and focus on me for a while. [From all the boys the one I take home is music]
I don't think I'm a total psycho.
I'm not looking for a "partner in crime." [Obviously I would never break the law]
I don't need to get married right now. [Or who knows if I ever will since weddings still make me intractably nauseous]
I don't even need a boyfriend.
But yes, like Lena Dunham, I would like "someone who wants to hang out all the time, thinks I'm the best person in the world, and wants to have sex with only me."
But I am intense.
The kind of person who runs either hot or cold with almost no ambient tapwater. [Which is why every single shower I take inexorably sets off the smoke alarm, sending me into a public-embarrassment-induced-panic where I try to waft all the steam out the bathroom window]
It's probably one of my biggest assets and worst flaws.
I am getting a little better though, as life drags on.
Still, wouldn't it be cool if someone could be equally obsessed with me as I am with them?
The struggle continues.
Off the grid of online dating, though I won't pretend to romanticize the analog version. It equally sucks in person: rejector or rejected.
Another anesthesiologist asked me out in the OR. [Why I will never stop putting in the extra effort to put on eyeliner every morning despite Nico nudging against my arms every day like clockwork when I start to apply it. Literal cat eyes.]
Had my first age-appropriate patient ask me out. Not in jest. Declined. Professionalism.
Got set up by an OBGYN. Not mine. And not with him. Not exactly the point of my meet-and-greets to try to get patient referrals…
Absolutely got ghosted in person by someone I had been out with two days prior. One second there, the next gone without a goodbye.
Blurred lines between what is and isn’t a date. Mildly amusing life-imitates-art when an online first date situational joke came true on a first date with the person who made the joke on their web series.
Less amusing when I realized said web series was hitting way too close to home. That I can out-lonely even the loneliest.
At least the last few nights I have been able to sweat it out. Side-step it off. Move it like Bernie. [Not that one.] I had almost forgotten how fun it was to go out with no intention of being on the prowl. To just flail your arms and jump and wiggle for your own enjoyment. To channel my inner hipster and dress like the actual 90s - t shirt and biker shorts - because I literally didn't care what anyone thought. I dunno about dancing myself clean, but to follow in the footsteps of a friend maybe I will attempt to go cold turkey all together. Forget about guys and focus on me for a while. [From all the boys the one I take home is music]
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