(JUNE EDITION plus or minus)
Have no shame about taking a photo with Fred Armisen. Don't pretend you were just there for the breakfast tacos.
Go to a hedonistic pool party and get a neon sharpie tattoo as an excuse to talk to a boy.
Make sure you actually get in the pool at the pool party. Most Angelenos will not. More floaties for you!
Pre-party for said pool party with a separate pool party.
Watch someone take a 10 minute selfie and [almost] consider giving up the practice.
Meet Marilyn Manson at the Chateau Marmont. Give him your business card. Then possibly offend him with the proclamation that you hate vegans. [Yes, hate was too strong a word, but it's what you said.]
When meeting Green Day, take a while for it to dawn on you as to who they are. Like when someone introduces them self as "Tre", pause for a second and then blankfacedly reply "as in Tre Cool?" That way you're totally chill, and not the kind of weirdo teen who memorized everything from the CD booklets. Then share their fries.
Wonder why you would limit tacos only to Tuesdays. Every day is Taco day.
When ordering a flight of juices, comment loudly on your distaste for all of them, except the one is "not so bad" because it tastes like toothpaste.*
Get past the bouncer at a secret bar with the password "We heard Samir was here."
Park on a steep hill to take the ultimate picture of the Hollywood sign at the golden hour; pray for your parking brake and parallel parking skills.
Get hit on while half-asleep in the OR physician's lounge.
Know someone personally who has a sunless tanning Instagram business.
Take up prime coffee shop real estate in order to watch YouTube skateboarding videos on your laptop.*
Briefly consider a part time job at a salad shop after seeing a sign that boasts free salads.
Realize that crisp burnt sandalwood smell in the air is actually a wildfire. On a separate occasion, take a picture of what looks like a solar eclipse and find out it is also a wildfire. Have nightmares about Los Angeles catching on fire.
Receive yet another business card in a grocery store parking lot from someone offering to fix the dent in your car.
Debate about whether to walk or drive 5 blocks. Then just drive.*
Meet some other celebrities at work, but refrain from taking selfies with them, because HIPAA?
Complain vocally about LAX shenanigans but refuse to stomach the traffic to go to any other airport.
[Seriously she's still taking selfies. Has not silenced her phone. Always from above.]*
* Not all of the aformentioned anecdotes are personal experience. Some are just plain eavesdropping.
Have no shame about taking a photo with Fred Armisen. Don't pretend you were just there for the breakfast tacos.
Go to a hedonistic pool party and get a neon sharpie tattoo as an excuse to talk to a boy.Make sure you actually get in the pool at the pool party. Most Angelenos will not. More floaties for you!
Pre-party for said pool party with a separate pool party.
Watch someone take a 10 minute selfie and [almost] consider giving up the practice.
Meet Marilyn Manson at the Chateau Marmont. Give him your business card. Then possibly offend him with the proclamation that you hate vegans. [Yes, hate was too strong a word, but it's what you said.]
When meeting Green Day, take a while for it to dawn on you as to who they are. Like when someone introduces them self as "Tre", pause for a second and then blankfacedly reply "as in Tre Cool?" That way you're totally chill, and not the kind of weirdo teen who memorized everything from the CD booklets. Then share their fries.
Wonder why you would limit tacos only to Tuesdays. Every day is Taco day.
When ordering a flight of juices, comment loudly on your distaste for all of them, except the one is "not so bad" because it tastes like toothpaste.*
Get past the bouncer at a secret bar with the password "We heard Samir was here."
Park on a steep hill to take the ultimate picture of the Hollywood sign at the golden hour; pray for your parking brake and parallel parking skills.
Get hit on while half-asleep in the OR physician's lounge.
Know someone personally who has a sunless tanning Instagram business.
Take up prime coffee shop real estate in order to watch YouTube skateboarding videos on your laptop.*
Briefly consider a part time job at a salad shop after seeing a sign that boasts free salads.
Realize that crisp burnt sandalwood smell in the air is actually a wildfire. On a separate occasion, take a picture of what looks like a solar eclipse and find out it is also a wildfire. Have nightmares about Los Angeles catching on fire.
Receive yet another business card in a grocery store parking lot from someone offering to fix the dent in your car.
Debate about whether to walk or drive 5 blocks. Then just drive.*
Meet some other celebrities at work, but refrain from taking selfies with them, because HIPAA?
Complain vocally about LAX shenanigans but refuse to stomach the traffic to go to any other airport.
[Seriously she's still taking selfies. Has not silenced her phone. Always from above.]*
* Not all of the aformentioned anecdotes are personal experience. Some are just plain eavesdropping.
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